BALLER

Morgan Ketzner @morganketzner

30 Funny Times People got Stood up for a Date 🤔

It starts with denial: “Maybe they’re just running late.” Then comes bargaining: “If they’re here in five minutes, I’ll forgive them.” Anger kicks in around minute ten, followed by depression when you realize your waiter is looking at you with pity. By dessert, you’re in acceptance—because hey, at least you don’t have to share your fries.

Your dignity might feel slightly bruised, but at least you’ll leave with a killer post for your Instagram captioned, “The best date I’ve ever had—me, myself, and I.”.

U.S. Secret Missions You’d Swear Were Fiction🤯

The Time They Tried to Weaponize Cats

During the Cold War, the CIA came up with a plan that sounds straight out of a spy parody: using cats as covert agents. The project, dubbed “Acoustic Kitty,” involved surgically implanting listening devices in cats and training them to eavesdrop on Soviet officials.

Predictably, the cats had other ideas. Instead of sticking to the mission, they got distracted, wandered off, or just decided to nap. The first field test was a disaster, ending abruptly when the cat ran into traffic. The program was quickly abandoned, proving that cats are better at ignoring humans than serving as spies.

The Van That Defies Limits 🚐

Where does everyone sleep? The answer is everywhere. In this camper van, every surface has a secret life as a sleeping spot. Fold down the bench, lower the table, flip a panel, and suddenly, there’s a bed where you didn’t think one could fit. Even the glove compartment starts to look like a viable pillow cubby after you’ve seen the rest of the setup.

By the time you’re done assembling this sleep fortress, you’ll have an arrangement so impressive it could double as a magic show. You’ll want to charge admission just to show off the “and now it’s a bed!” routine.

Slouching Isn’t the Enemy👌

Stand Up Straight! Or Not.

We’ve all heard it: “Sit up straight, or you’ll ruin your back forever!” Turns out, that’s about as scientific as saying eating carrots gives you night vision. Studies show slouching won’t send you to the chiropractor faster than upright posture will.

So, if your spine feels happiest when you’re draped over your chair like a deflated balloon, go for it. The posture police have no real jurisdiction here.

What To Eat Before A Run🏃

The Goldilocks Dilemma

Finding the right pre-run snack is all about balance. Eat too little and you’ll be starving by mile two; eat too much and it’ll feel like you’re carrying a full Thanksgiving feast with every step.

The goal? Just enough fuel to keep you energized without making you regret that “extra” spoonful of peanut butter. Remember, your stomach doesn’t take kindly to rebellion mid-sprint.

Got Ideas? Let’s Hear Them! 💡 

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