BALLER | 12.04.24

Scent Strategy for the Modern Man, Because You're Not Here to Gas the Room

Author

For Men Only
December 04, 2024

😮‍💨 Fragrance Faux Pas

It's like the audio for your nose. You wouldn't blast heavy metal at a library, so why douse yourself in Eau de Overkill before a quiet dinner?

The right cologne should play background music for your life's moments, there to enhance the plot, not overshadow it.

Choose wisely, or you might end up as the human equivalent of a car air freshener, where people are unsure if they're getting closer to you or a department store.

⚙️ EDC Essentials

[Partner]Ever felt like your wallet’s thicker than a dictionary? Why cram your life into a fat pocket bulge when you can go sleek? The Bellroy Note is so slim, you'll forget it's even in your pocket.

Finally you can sit down without feeling like you’re balancing on a boulder. And with this bad boy, you can carry just enough cards to make you look financially responsible.

Don’t settle for a leather brick of a wallet when you can have one that's a statement. The Bellroy Note Wallet: Because your wallet should slim down, even if you haven't. 

👫 Surviving IKEA: Relationship Edition

Embarking on an IKEA trip? Let’s pledge our undying love in the face of minimalism and meatballs. Here's your survival guide to keep your relationship from becoming flat-packed.

  • Agree you're lost. It's not about the journey; it's about the meatballs at the end.

  • Showroom Survival. When in doubt about decor, just agree on the practicality of the furniture. "Does it hold things? Great, we're moving on."

  • Use the food court as your truce zone. A shared cinnamon bun can mend any furniture-induced tension.

  • Checkout Veto Power. You've made it this far. Now, as you stand in line, resist the urge to add just "one more thing." If one of you wants that quirky lamp, the other can veto it with a look.

If you can make it through IKEA together, your relationship is ready for anything life throws your way, including assembling that 72-piece bookshelf with only one Allen key.

🏋️‍♂️ Health and Fitness

Sure, you think he’s cooking pancakes, but what’s actually sizzling in that kitchen is a mix of Herculean hustle, legendary charm, and the kind of motivation that makes you want to bench-press your car. 

If you could take a bite, it’d taste like protein-packed motivation and a side of biceps.

The Rock’s cooking up energy so potent, it could power a small city—or at least inspire you to do one more set of squats.

🥊 Skill of the Week

This week, we're turning you into the kind of person who could throw a devastating elbow in line at the deli counter, but probably shouldn't.

Picture this: You're reaching for the last piece of bread, and instead of a polite "excuse me," you go for the full-contact sport move. 

Just remember, with great elbow power comes great responsibility—use it wisely, like when you're fighting over the TV remote or accidentally, when you're trying to scratch your back.

Now, go forth and use your newly acquired skill to assert your place in the line.

❝

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

-Anonymous